You're already home where you feel love

 Homemade deliciousness by Libby at our goodbye party last weekend. We are loved.

If The Head and the Heart are right by saying "you're already home where you feel love" then we have never been homeless. All our lives, Davis and I have been so blessed to be loved so well by so many.  So blessed to share in life with many amazing people. We know the God who has provided so infinitely more than we can imagine, will continue to be with us and love us in Salt Lake City. Change is hard. Leaving and losing loved ones surely is hard. One day we will go to our final home with Him and all will be made right. No more goodbyes. We are so thankful for this truth.

Goodbye! Took this at the end in a hurry, one of the last folks to leave.

Sunday we said goodbye to our church family at Grace. Church for us is our main community. We made most of our friends here, our Colorado Family. We have a common love and purpose. It's beautiful. So beautiful. People try to foster this depth of community by other or similar means but really are missing the underlying glorious truth. This is a super fascinating write up about an Atheistic Church in England: My Sunday at an Atheistic Church by some other blogger, trying to foster community. (I borrowed this from a friend, who borrowed it from a friend and so on....)

Anyways,  I am trying so hard to not cry at all of these goodbyes. I am so good at crying when people say nice things, try to be comforting, and/or cry around me. Crying feels so vulnerable. I don't like feeling vulnerable plus I feel like I've lost control of myself. Eww. I try to avoid it. It's pretty challenging for me. For instance, once in PE I got hit in the head with a volleyball and turned into bucket-o-tears simply because someone asked me if I was okay. Definitely out of place for a girl who played basketball and has multiple siblings.  BUT, I made it through church and everything with just wet eyes. WINNING.

Not winning. This will prove terrible, I will explode sooner or later at the most inopportune time. I told this to the ladies at last small group last night. Woke up this morning to a very encouraging email from Lois. She sweetly reminded me to process and not to stuff it away. Also, to keep tissues nearby as we drive away Friday morning so my sleeve will not be a snotty damp mess. My plan was to totally ignore my emotions best I can manage. Instead, I need to process life. It's okay to have and experience sadness. I just can't ignore uncomfortable emotions and hope they go away. All of life is an on going process of processing. I am thankful to have true hope as frame of reference with which to process. Writing this helps me process. So, thank you.


Let's discuss something lighter now that doesn't need processing (had to throw another process in there, I think I've used my lifetime quota today).

 Really?Really? (lame screenshot apologies)

At 11 am today, I walked Ingrid in half pants (knee length yoga pants) and a tank top. Ingrid jumped in the ponds again. It was about 65 degrees at some point. Beautiful and warm. Now? It's snowing. We are supposed to get an April blizzard. What the what!? Colorado weather is bananas.

In conclusion, a couple goodies from Fort Collins.

Secure your kegs. 

Precious but bad taste.

Sweet dreams.

ps. no davis to proofread tonight...

unemployed

For those who don't know, Fort Collins job market is tough. Really tough. So is the housing market in the the prince range most people can afford and the rental market is insane. Basically, people want to live and work here.

So, way back when we arrived for Davis to start grad school, we thought it would be super easy for an RN to get a job anywhere. We were wrong. Apparently not here and in fact it is even more challenging now. For over a month, I literally applied to every hospital RN job from Denver to Cheyenne.  I landed ONE interview in Cheyenne but was turned down because they wanted someone with more experience. Ah, the conundrum of having a legit degree but no experience. Finally, down to our last pennies, I gave in and went into the first nursing home I saw. Three days later, they officially hired me. Thankful to be employed but angry that all my RN friends back home landed their dream jobs and were what I thought was real nursing. For 11 months I worked my tail off there. It was horrible/crazy but invaluable experience. This is the job that I will compare all future jobs with and as long as it isn't THAT bad, I'll be okay. But I really did love most of those residents. Goodness, the last year(s) life can be so hard in so many ways.

 I'm not complaining at this point, it's a set up for why I am sad to leave my job.

After applying to hundreds of positions, I finally received a phone call to interview for a Med/Surg position at Poudre Valley Hospital. By the grace of God, they hired me out of 200+ applicants. I am so thankful for that job. Yesterday, I left my job and now I am unemployed again. Of course, it's a little different now but I was genuinely sad to go and scared to start over. What if I have to do something like my first job again? In some ways, I feel like they rescued me. Not that this job was perfect by any means. Working with people, especially when they are at a low part in their lives, is extremely challenging.  It was the job I actually didn't fear going into and could be proud of.  After my shift yesterday, I cleaned out my locker then turned in my keys, badge and (slacker) tracker .

You are probably thinking: "O my goodness please put up some pictures" and "there isn't any way I'd read that wall of text". (or internet speak TLDR)

Okay, I heard you :)

 

Snapped a picture on the way out. I wanted to try more aesthitically pleasing shots but felt silly.

 

My former locker. I can be so sentimental.

When I got home, we took Ingrid for a walk on some trails in park near our house. She loves sniffing nature while I look at it. Davis tags along because he enjoys us both. We make a good team.

Stunning sky at dusk.

I couldn't help but notice the perfect reflection of beautiful clouds on the ponds.

 Ingrid jumped in for an April swim. Thankfully, the pond is much warmer than the river.

This is The Farm. The barn was built in 1920. Now it's more of a petting zoo but only farm animals.

This morning we got up and walked into Old Town to eat breakfast with our favorite people, the Rydbecks and Angerts. They have been some of our longest and dearest friends here. No pictures this morning though I COMPLETELY recommend Snooze for breakfast/brunch/lunch if you are ever in this area. We happily walked home with our hearts and bellies full. 

Tonight is a final four gathering with more friends. The host went to Michigan for undergrad and his wife is a UNC girl, they have a vested interest in March Madness. Even though I used to play basketball, I typically do not watch it. We are going for friend time.

Happy Saturday! 

I have no clever title, it's what we did today

Good evening y'all,

Yes, I still utilize the fabulous contraction y'all despite living in Colorado nearly 3 years now. Most people who find themselves living in Colorado tend to not be natives anyway. If you are a native, you are a big deal. Davis is a native but he doesn't have a bumper sticker. I wonder if Utahns (I asked around to see what they refer to themselves as) have a pride about being native. It's silly to me but I am somewhat proud to be southern. People want to have something to be proud of and stake identity on. So much regionality in America today. I am assuming that regionality can or should be a word despite it's red underline right now.

It might seem wordy at first, but I added a lot of pictures below to carry you through to the end :)

Today was day two of Davis' unemployment bliss. He is really is not unemployed, just has a few days between jobs. We were only a little productive. We took Galadriel, Davis' car, to the shop for a tune up before the big relocation. He posted a few items on craigslist. I packed a grand total of ONE box. Moving is silly. It toys with your emotions and makes a lot of extra work. We are excited about the new job, new city to explore, new food to try (we love food), and new people to meet. However, we are so sad to leave our community here in Fort Collins. Our friends here truly are our family. I want it to go ahead and happen but I also want to drag this last week out as long as possible. Oh life.

So what did we do instead? We walked to Old Town and ate La Luz burritos and chips. Hit up the Cupboard for 25 cent Easter chocolate deals. Walked and talked then talked and walked. It was lovely.

It was super sunny today. Yes, Davis needs sunglasses...

After we returned home, we posted our bikes on Craigslist. Discussing what we need and don't need was part of the talking. It's so hard not to hold onto possessions. It really is. I got a little sentimental over my bike even though until today, I probably did not think about it all winter. During seasons where life feels less settled, it seems even more challenging to let go. 

Goodbye Sting! The name is because it's yellow like a bee not because we name everything after LOTR, though that works too!

The truth is that Salt Lake City has some killer hills that I do not intend to ride up or down. Sting was no longer practical. Hopefully someone else will find better use for it. We might get trail riding bikes eventually. We'll see about that.

What else? All day long I was thinking in terms of what I should show/do/say for this blog thing... which is partly why I was reluctant to start it. It's hard enough to be present with a million distractions at anytime. 

Oh and it's totally okay I packed only one box. I am not a slacker. Our tiny guest bedroom contains a sea of boxes. Funny how we first came here with just two cars full of our earthly belongings. They were small cars too.

Also, we pulled out lawn chairs and sat in the sun. It was lovely. Davis sat without his shirt, typical. The kid doesn't like to wear shirts sometimes. Ingrid joined us by sitting on the picnic table. Her usual activities are looking out the front window, keeping a watchful eye on the neighborhood.

Ingrid loves to watch out the window.

Lounging on the picnic table.

 Finally, Davis was so proud that I wore a great outfit today, he wanted to take my picture.  This is my favorite one simply because of Ingrid.

It might be hard to tell but this is a far cry from the usual "bag lady" apparel for days off work.

We are about to go to my dear friend Sam's house for dinner. She is cooking us a vegetarian meal. We are both really excited about it. We aren't vegetarians at all but we love people who are creative with their food. Sam also is probably the biggest animal lover I have ever met. I can't imagine her not being a vegetarian. Super excited to see what she comes up with!

Tomorrow is my last day of work at the hospital. So. Surreal. I've started looking a tad at RN jobs in SLC. Right now, I hope to get a job where my hours aren't opposite of Davis' since he'll be the only person I know in all of Utah.

good night!

ps. davis did not proof read this one. all mistakes are on me :)