As I was sitting on the front porch this morning, sipping my favorite tea and taking a moment to think, I realized something. Perhaps this realization came after a conversation Davis and I had walking Ingrid the other day. Or because this week before heading into a new and scary job sphere, I have prayed more fervently to not be so worried. But I think it was a long time coming, I am often slow to realize many things. For certain, I am late to the party on these truths but none the less, I want to share because I realize so many struggle with worry and a lack of peace in their souls.
I have often prayed for people to know/have/feel/receive "a peace that passes understanding" from Philippians 4:7. Of course I've read the verse many times without giving it much thought. I didn't even think much about it even when I prayed it. When I consider peace, I either think a lack of conflict or that state of being where you aren't really worried. I'm sure it's both and more but I am not scholar so I am mostly talking about the fact my heart, mind, and soul are often at turmoil within me because I am so worried all the time.
When Davis and I were walking the other day, we talked about how much I worry and how I am always looking to the future or the next thing. My forward thinking is not a good thing, it stems from a desire to control life and know that nothing too unbearable will be happening. This is especially difficult when it comes to my work. As a nurse, you work with very unpredictable illnesses, people, environments and so on. I often spend my days off looking forward to my work days in worry about what may come up. This is true on bigger and smaller levels in my life as well. I am a worrier with very little peace. Worry is a sin. It makes me believe lies like I need something besides Jesus to be happy. It steals joy from my many blessings and turns my life into very self-centered and self-preserving mess. When I am so focused on myself and securing my peace and desires, it backfires and I worry more than ever.
Well this is what I realized this morning. I thought,
how can I ever be at peace if I am looking for circumstances and the ability to control them to bring me peace? And by circumstances, I mean my ability to control myself, others, and the world around me to where I don't have to worry. Peace can only be true, secure, and unchanging it has to be rooted in love for and by Christ. Trusting God and his promises that He will never leave me or forsake me. I have a secure eternal home with Him. This is the peace that passes understanding. This peace can guard my heart and mind from the worry and fear I often daily toil in and inwardly (or outwardly) am in anguish over. True peace, the security of my soul, must come from resting in God's promises not in the hope of all our circumstances becoming to my liking.
I do not want to worry.
Okay, so if this is indeed an answer to the trouble and worry of my weary soul, how on earth can keep focused on His promises?
So, I looked at some the verses around the verse I've so often prayed. I added it right below for your reading pleasure. It may seem silly but turning to the bible for God's promises is kinda new to me. Well, not new but I am learning to actually do that.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do
not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and
supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally,
brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there
is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about
these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9
These are some things I prayed about based on the verse:
-Rejoice in God and not my circumstances.
-Be kind to people not because it makes your circumstances generally better but because God was first kind to me.
-God is with me.
-Instead of wasting time and energy in worry, pray about it.
-Prayer and realizing God is in control brings about that peace in my soul I can't even understand because it's not linked to my circumstances. Like the early church that could rejoice in persecution.
-Instead of thinking about myself and all the things that could go wrong (and still might), think about truth, love, justice, excellence, and so on. Or really, think about God and all he has done for his people throughout time. And consider sometimes I can see glimpses of these traits through people in my life.
-Don't just say "oh this is some nice truth here" and forget it. Practice it in my life. Meditate on it. Pray over it. Remember it when I want to worry about or change my circumstances.
So that's what I thought about this morning.
And for your viewing pleasure and reward for making it through my ramblings, here are two pictures.
 |
| Bear Lake in the morning |
 |
| Ingrid, not so sure about camping |
We went on a quick star-gazing, over night camping trip with friends last friday to Bear Lake on the Utah/Idaho border.
By the way, my favorite tea is called Paris by Harney and Sons. Check it out.
